time.

ok, late update.
i meant to do this a while ago.. but holidays can get really busy..
i dont even know what ive been doing these last few days... weeks..
where did all my time go?!
yeh i've been wasting time..
at first i was telling myself to take a break and just relax.. and now its so hard to get into the mood to work.

worried. but in denial about all this work.
i WANT to do it. but i can't do it..
can't bring myself to write that essay,
and do those responses to belonging..
its mainly just english work.
i mean i procrastinate from doing english by doing chem or maths or ancient.
which are the only other three subjecst i have.
and right now im procrastinating from that by writing this.

when will i ever bring myself to doing work again.
and that 1500 word crime fiction story that has to get down is like a storm cloud hanging over my head... ALL THE TIME!
just this constant, looming... depressive... presence. that won't go away until i write it
except i feel so unprepared... so ignorant..
how can i write it when i feel as though i dont even know anything about crime fiction yet?!

ok.. i'm going to do some chemistry.. to try get rid of this guilty feeling.