I feel like this is a nice blog to start with, since today marks a new beginning.
some people may already know that religion has been a ambigous affair for me, mostly because I was never brought up in a very religious environment.
When I was around the ages of 7, 8,9 (can't really remember) i used to go with my paternal grandma on a sunday to a buddhist church. That was about as religious as it was for me, and even then I went not for the religion but to play with all the other kids, who like me, were there to muck around. So its safe to say, that I never accepted any sort of religion in my life. It wasn't until i started Highschool, that I really started to think about what I believed in. I went along with scripture lessons, but then again it was to get out of maths. my friends were not devout christians, and if they were, then they never really openly invited me to church with them. The bottom line was, i gave Christianity some thought, but not enough to have the motivation to look into it seriously. So a few years go by...
Then i get into hornsby Girls. Its not hard to say how happy i was. i was REALLY happy, but i never saw it as God's way of showing me to him. At the time, it was purely an academic achievement.
In 2009 I started Hornsby girls. It was quite hard for me at first, not just the changing of schools but the whole thing about year 11 being a jump in standards. Standards that I felt were beyond me. For the first few months, I cried almost every week at home. Emotionally, I'm quite weak, I worried the heck out of my parents, who thought i was heading towards a mental breakdown. I remember after tutoring one night, sitting in the car with my dad and just crying. At that moment I felt so hopeless. It was a point in my life where I had to step back and think about what all this effort and stres was for. Was it just for the HSC? and my answer was yes. but then on year 11 camp with the girls, we had bible study (devotion?) sorry, still learning the ropes :(, and it really opened my eyes to the bigger picture of life, other than all the studying, and family, and friends, there was God. and up to this point. God had never been a part of my life. I would love to say that, THAT night, there and then I clicked my fingers and became Christian. But I didn't. But I recognised it was my first step...
The second step was Sylvia, and Lynn inviting me to church. It was slightly intimidating at first. Intimidating in a good way, to be immersed by people who radiated faith. literally. I was so overcome by how strongly they believed in God. Something that nobody could prove, but to me, their faith was the proof. Proof that there must be a divine inspiration up there. But I still didn't see myself as Christian. I was inspired by them, and I knew somewhere inside I was inspired by what they had.
More time passed. exams. Stress.Year 11 finishes and Year 12 kicks in. I start getting really excited for the end of the year, and Christmas is around the corner. The church experience had started to fade for me, I had gotten carried away by everything else in life. then a week ago lynn sends me a text asking if i wanted to join her at Church the coming Sunday.
So there I was today. overwhelmed again but this time something changed. I became a Christian. I was always uncertain about what truly defined being Christina. I would pray to God at night, but when people asked me "are you Christian?" i found myself not being able to say "yes i am". I mean, was it that simple?, just recognising God in my life, and Jesus as my saviour? what made me different to everyone else who did that? How did i really know I was a Christian? Today I came to the realisation that I am. I am a Christian, on a journey to learn more about Christianity, and build my relationship with God. Saying that (or typing this) gives me a sense of certainty and relief. I feel liberated :)
Thankyou God.
now, i feel like putting in a photo... just to try this. :D
kt
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